It is time! As a consequence of my columns about how FIFA exploits South Africa, and Holland’s amazing success in reaching the final, I find myself having to wear a short orange dress during the World Cup final on Sunday.
To shed light on why I might do such a thing, here’s a summary of what led up to it. In essence, my columns have argued that we should boycott FIFA and its sponsors, for having hijacked our government, gained special rights including not paying tax, excluded South African businesses from the World Cup bonanza, and generally having proven themselves to be corrupt, exploitative and downright racist. These columns also contain the caveats: South Africa will (and did) run a great World Cup, and there’s nothing that stops us from celebrating that, or supporting our national sides. FIFA might own us, but that doesn’t mean we should act accordingly.
This is a selection of my columns on FIFA, as published at the always excellent online news magazine, The Daily Maverick.
5 January 2010: Boycott FIFA — It’s 2010. Adverts blare from every TV and radio telling us how marvellous the World Cup will be. Why, because FIFA hijacked our government?
20 April 2010: Who is ripping off whom? — South Africans are being admonished not to gouge tourists. But we’re not the real FIFA World Cup profiteers.
1 June 2010: The FIFA conquistadors are coming! — The moment we’ve been waiting for has arrived. Fifa is in town, with its batallion of jackbooted lawyers. Assume the position.
15 June 2010: Secretly, Match blames South Africa — The contempt in which Fifa and Match hold South Africans is astounding. Still, we’re an amazing country.
22 June 2010: I ordered an orange skirt — Who is incapable of hosting a World Cup now? While South Africa sails through with flying colours, FIFA stumbles at every hurdle.
6 July 2010: FIFA’s heart of darkness — With the tournament’s climax upon us, FIFA has shown its true colours: one of condescension, greed and ill-disguised racism.
So, to honour the commitment I made after the second round of group-stage matches, long before it was in any way clear that the Netherlands really would make it to the final, I have procured an orange dress, along with the necessary accessories. I have ordered Bavaria beer, in order to annoy the FIFascists. I have retained a non-FIFA-approved stylist and a retired glamour photographer who used to ply his trade in Soho, London. None of my expenditure will go to FIFA or its sponsors.
The product of these efforts will be published right here, on Sunday 11 July 2010. During the final itself on Sunday night, I will be wearing the orange dress at Bosuns Pub & Grill, on George Rex Drive in Knysna. I trust you will not embarrass me by actually swinging by for a laugh. I will be cold, not to mention ruthlessly mocked by the regulars. But for Holland’s first final in 32 years, it’s all worth it.
Like it? Please spike it:
These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.