Coming soon: strip show idols

According to the Independent Online, a show dreamt up by Lolly Jackson of Teazers strip club fame, is headed for DStv screens soon. Stripteaze will be broadcast from 1 September at 23:00 on ActionX.

Now judging by the quality of your average Idols entry, I’m not entirely convinced of the merits of a show designed to find the striptease champion of South Africa. Like most reality TV shows, this could be entirely horrible. However, the shrill seriosity and earnest whining of the mother grundies, religious nuts, and other self-appointed moral guardians of society make such a proposal entirely worth it.

Take this gem from the unfortunately named Cheryllyn Dudley, of the African Christian Democratic Party (which believes that it is the role of political parties to police the morals of non-members). Apparently, there’s more to be worried about than just the risk of seeing non-professionals in the buff.

All too often because children are small and can easily be manipulated, they fall victim to those who have been aroused by adult porn or so-called adult entertainment.

Now I wonder. Is this “so-called” adult entertainment because the participants won’t actually take off their undies? Or because someone who checks out a little totty on the telly will involuntarily become a slavering paedophile? Has Ms Dudley seen the quality of the totty on the telly? It has a pneumatic profile Michelin would be proud of. It’s more likely to turn one celibate than turn one on. (Granted, celibacy doesn’t have a great record in the annals of sex crime.)

If Ms Dudley knew how many people watched porn, and consquently turn to “manipulating” children, she’d give up the anti-porn crusade as a lost cause and go rescue the last few unmolested innocents left on the planet.

Look, if you want to object, fine. Just don’t be a tit about it. Tell MultiChoice to make sure it’s on late (which it is) and use the parental guidance features of your decoder. I mean, you’re not going to cancel your subscription, are you, Ms Dudley?