During Holland’s first match against Denmark, the FIFascists arrested a bevy of beauties sporting little orange dresses. This prompted a promise on 22 June 2010, in one of my numerous columns on FIFA’s exploitation of South Africa during what was otherwise an excellent World Cup tournament: if Holland makes it to the final, I’ll wear an orange dress and drink Bavaria.

The specific column in which I made the commitment can be found here. There’s a selection of my columns on the subject of FIFA in my previous post. Do read them, if only for an explanation of my uncharacteristic garderobe.

Well, it is final day, and Holland is playing in a final for the first time in 32 years. Therefore, I’m making good on my promise. Here are the official photographs. Photo credits go to my friend Tony Nathan, of Nathan Studios. My thanks also to Trish Nathan for being an invaluable stylist. (Click through for larger versions.)

Go ahead, laugh. It’s all worth it just to be able to watch Oranje challenge for the 2010 World Cup.

It is time! As a consequence of my columns about how FIFA exploits South Africa, and Holland’s amazing success in reaching the final, I find myself having to wear a short orange dress during the World Cup final on Sunday.

To shed light on why I might do such a thing, here’s a summary of what led up to it. In essence, my columns have argued that we should boycott FIFA and its sponsors, for having hijacked our government, gained special rights including not paying tax, excluded South African businesses from the World Cup bonanza, and generally having proven themselves to be corrupt, exploitative and downright racist. These columns also contain the caveats: South Africa will (and did) run a great World Cup, and there’s nothing that stops us from celebrating that, or supporting our national sides. FIFA might own us, but that doesn’t mean we should act accordingly.

This is a selection of my columns on FIFA, as published at the always excellent online news magazine, The Daily Maverick.

5 January 2010: Boycott FIFA — It’s 2010. Adverts blare from every TV and radio telling us how marvellous the World Cup will be. Why, because FIFA hijacked our government?

20 April 2010: Who is ripping off whom? — South Africans are being admonished not to gouge tourists. But we’re not the real FIFA World Cup profiteers.

1 June 2010: The FIFA conquistadors are coming! — The moment we’ve been waiting for has arrived. Fifa is in town, with its batallion of jackbooted lawyers. Assume the position.

15 June 2010: Secretly, Match blames South Africa — The contempt in which Fifa and Match hold South Africans is astounding. Still, we’re an amazing country.

22 June 2010: I ordered an orange skirt — Who is incapable of hosting a World Cup now? While South Africa sails through with flying colours, FIFA stumbles at every hurdle.

6 July 2010: FIFA’s heart of darkness — With the tournament’s climax upon us, FIFA has shown its true colours: one of condescension, greed and ill-disguised racism.

So, to honour the commitment I made after the second round of group-stage matches, long before it was in any way clear that the Netherlands really would make it to the final, I have procured an orange dress, along with the necessary accessories. I have ordered Bavaria beer, in order to annoy the FIFascists. I have retained a non-FIFA-approved stylist and a retired glamour photographer who used to ply his trade in Soho, London. None of my expenditure will go to FIFA or its sponsors.

The product of these efforts will be published right here, on Sunday 11 July 2010. During the final itself on Sunday night, I will be wearing the orange dress at Bosuns Pub & Grill, on George Rex Drive in Knysna. I trust you will not embarrass me by actually swinging by for a laugh. I will be cold, not to mention ruthlessly mocked by the regulars. But for Holland’s first final in 32 years, it’s all worth it.

The second parallel for FIFA president Sepp Blatter is King Leopold II of Belgium, aka Leopold of the Congo. In it, I wrap up my series on FIFA with the observation that FIFA may claim philanthropic intent, but is intent only on exploiting Africa, and its racism is very thinly veiled. FIFA’s heart of darkness.

In the first of two comparisons that seemed apt for FIFA president Sepp Blatter, my recent ITWeb column considers his Luddite resistance to simple and effective technology that would improve refereeing and get us to talk about the game instead of about controversial decisions. Read more: King Ludd Blatter

A conversation involving a Match employee recently crossed my desk. In it’s rude dismissal of South Africans who feel short-changed, it shows our new overlords have nothing but contempt for us.

The Daily Maverick: Secretly, Match blames South Africa

It is also archived on the Boycott FIFA website, which links to all my columns about FIFA, along with other news and resources on the World Cup exploitation of South Africa.

Here’s a fairly comprehensive summary of why we should support our country and our team, but have nothing to do with the exploitation of FIFA: The Fifa conquistadors are coming!

My other columns on FIFA have been collected in a previous post: Boycott FIFA

I will have more to write concerning FIFA and Match, some of it in their own damning words.

PS. Here’s a #boycottFIFA ribbon for your Twitter avatar or Facebook profile picture.

My very first column for The Daily Maverick this year was a call to boycott FIFA. At the time, mine was a lone voice. Most people thought I was just being contrarian. I wasn’t. I really am incensed at the cavalier manner in which FIFA treats South Africans, and the way in which the government not only lets them get away with it, but aids and abets their plunder with special laws. As we got closer to the FIFA World Cup South Africa, more headlines began to appear in the mainstream media, documenting the real cost to South Africa — a developing nation that needs all the resources it can muster — of FIFA’s heavy-handed approach, special privileges, and allegations of corruption.

Boycott FIFA explains why I’m doing so, and that this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy the football, support our national team, or welcome our foreign visitors.

A few weeks later, an idea was floated to extort money from bars and restaurants who show the football. Because no court would sanction such a law, it was quickly scaled back to cover only venues that didn’t already have a liquor licence. Still, at R50 000 for a licence to serve liquor while showing the football on TV, it’s outright extortion. This was my initial reaction: Really, boycott the FIFA farce.

While everyone was getting shrill about the late Eugene Terre’blanche and young Julius Malema, it occurred to me that even if marketing was the only benefit we derived from the billions we spent on the World Cup, what exactly would we be marketing? Division? Racism? Anger? While FIFA takes over, we fight.

Among the reasons for objecting to FIFA’s presence in South Africa is the fact that local businesses, who were supposed to benefit from this expensive shindig, are not only being excluded, but are being unfairly accused of price gouging. The only people ripping off foreigners are FIFA and its exclusive marketing partner, Match Services. Only, the foreigners won’t know this, and they’ll blame us. Who is ripping off whom?

These are among the many reasons why South Africans should avoid supporting FIFA and its sponsors. They are exploiting a country that can ill afford it. Instead, support anyone who isn’t associated with FIFA. Help them turn this economic disaster into an opportunity, however small it may be.

Update: I’ve just created a Twitter ribbon (or “twibbon”) for your avatar, and a Facebook sticker for your profile pic. Show your displeasure with FIFA’s exploitation of South Africa. Get your #boycottfifa twibbon now.

One consequence of speaking to people in the tourism industry is an acute appreciation for exactly how badly FIFA and its marketing partner, Match, are exploiting South Africans, and giving South Africa a bad reputation for international guests into the bargain. Here’s the column: Who’s ripping off whom?

The world didn’t end while I was on holiday, and neither did my columns. First, I grabbed a review unit — the sweet little Nokia Booklet 3G I had lying around — to take along. Security reasons, you understand. I had cleaned it up thoroughly in preparation for its return to Nokia, so imagine my surprise when I fired it up and it alerted me of a new email. That prompted this column on ITWeb. I always said Google could very easily be evil.

While I was away, I first wrote a column in response to the UK parliamentary whitewash of the East Anglia Climatic Research Unit email leak. However, the noise around Eugene Terre’blanche and Julius Malema prompted its delay, in favour of this: While FIFA takes over, we fight. A week later, upon my return, Anatomy of a whitewash found its way online.

I have some more very juicy bits lined up about FIFA. It doesn’t get any prettier as we count down to the World Cup. I’ll keep you posted.

I’ve been negligent recently. In the excitement and stress of preparing for my trip to South by South West (SxSW) in Austin, Texas, I haven’t updated my blog often enough.

Here’s a roundup of my recent writing:

The Mail & Guardian recently published a feature on the Phantom Pass fire near Knysna. I met up with some firemen to “walk the line”, and watched them on a controlled burn to safeguard unburnt forest. These guys work terrifically hard, and it’s dangerous to boot. They deserve our respect. Happily, the editors thought so too, and gave me a full page on page 12 of the over-full budget edition of the paper.

In The Daily Maverick, I wrote another column about the crime FIFA and our government are perpetrating against ordinary South Africans and their businesses, and renewed my call for a boycott, first made here. If you agree, and you are on Twitter, do use the #boycottfifa tag to draw attention to the matter. The marketing hype is deafening. The vuvuzelas drown out the nasty fact that our government spent R80 billion it couldn’t afford on infrastructure, FIFA stands to walk away with a cool R70 billion, but South Africans will have to be content with a mere R20 billion in extra GDP.

I also posted another response to critics of my climate change position, explaining the logical basis for my rejection of the apocalypse hypothesis: Ten reasons to reject climate alarmism. It even has footnotes. Ten of them.

Over on ITWeb, I got to thinking about social media, and how few large companies have dedicated people who can lead product innovation and respond to the rapidly changing landscape online. Heads in the sand, is how I described it.

I’ll be blogging up a storm from Texas, and will make sure this blog gets notified of any updates. I’ll also keep up my regular columns, if all goes well.